42 min: The Arsenal fans targeting referee Anthony Taylor, Altrincham’s most famous supporter. Why? Who knows? Previous case history?

40 min: Nwaneri is offside. Arsenal are slower than they were in previous seasons. Perhaps that’s to conserve energy but they were prettier on the eye in 2022-23 and 2023-24.

39 min: Arsenal have had 70% of the ball. They’re still level with this toiling United fun bus.

37 min: Nwaneri has been quiet but comes to the fore. Zirkzee, yet quieter, is muscled out by Saliba. The ball just won’t stick for United. They are getting hurried along in defence, too.

36 min: Home fans groan as their team deliberates on the attack. Merino finds Odegaard, whose shot is blocked. Now there’s boos as Dalot takes his time over a throw.

34 min: A glimmer for United as Fernandes and Eriksen exchange passes. Zirkzee seemed to be looking in the opposite direction. Trossard then gets another sighter. Game opening up?

33 min: The Arsenal fans are taunting Onana on the ball. That can’t be helping his nerves. There’s some of the “woaaaaaahh, you’re [expletive] ah” going on, too. Old school. Are they bored?

31 min: Trossard surges on and shoots, but wide.

29 min: Timber on the overlap, but ends up fouling De Ligt. United try to press Arsenal but that falls short when Casemiro can’t keep his end up. Arsenal go on the attack but are again wasteful. Going to pieces in the box.

28 min: Trossard wins a corner. A lot of farting around ensues. And Onana collects. Arsenal’s potency at these situations has dropped right off. Jover’s taken them as far as he can?

27 min: This game has an end of season feel. Both teams perhaps thinking of other targets.

26 min: Mazraoui and Merino collide. It looked like Merino’s foul but it goes the other way. Partey gets a glimpse of goal but his shot is blocked.

23 min: Talking of blunt attacks. Garnacho has the ball but struggles to find teammates and angles to work with. There’s little impetus.

22 min: An injection of atmosphere from the Stretford End: “We want Glazers out.” A perennial favourite. Arsenal continue to dominate but are struggling to locate the final ball.

20 min: Odegaard finds the ball in the loose but drags it along the ground and to Onana’s palms. Imagine if Arsenal had a striker, he says, asking the most asked question in football

19 min: A Doctor Creepen gets in touch: “I think the appropriate Stone Roses song for this current Man Utd team is Fool’s Gold, for hopefully obvious reasons.”

18 min: Amorim prowls the sideline, his trousers looking half-mast. Though at least he won’t get any mud on them.

17 min: The usual load of movement, Rice whips in, and Onana punches clear. Partey chooses to win a throw rather than launch a cross in. Possibly with Jover in mind.

16 min: Arsenal win a corner. Initialise Nicolas Jover….

15 min: Another United attack. Fernandes releases Garnacho who fancies it against Calafiori, though his ball across – neither cross nor shot – finds nobody. Zirkzee was closest.

14 min: Peter Oh’s in: “‘This Is The One’ is a great tune, but for this current version of Manchester United, the more appropriate Stone Roses song is ‘I Wanna Be Adored’.”

13 min: A United attack, Garnacho down the wing but the ball cleared with some ease by Arsenal. Arsenal resume their dominance of possession. They may be the Raymond Poulidor of the affair, but they are so much better than United.

12 min: Yoro will be ok, it seems. He’s taken a tablet for something. And is now swallowing, though with difficulty.

10 min: Arsenal go close. Odegaard drifts on, and Merino has a snap shot, but wide. Yoro is down.

9 min: Arsenal are full of confidence, as they are entitled to be after a 7-1 win. United are not exactly engaged in what you might call high pressing.

7 min: Old Trafford’s fervour has descended. United’s players will have to win the crowd over. Rice and Odegaard link and there’s hesitation in the United box. Onana eventually comes to the ball.

6 min: Eriksen appears to be playing inside-left. Novel. Partey leaves a boot in on Garnacho, and the Dane can swing the ball in. It misses everyone, Yoro closest. Declan Rice was all at sea, worried Casemiro might get there.

5 min: Yoro goes on a run, Dalot tries to whip the ball in. He and Mazraoui are asked to do an awful lot, and are perhaps not so capable.

3 min: Nwaneri seeing plenty of the ball. He’s taking the ball towards the Arsenal fans, who are loud. Then some confusion, and Merino almost steals in. Would a proper striker have stolen that? Onana claims.

Kick-off at Old Trafford

Old Trafford is in full voice. Just as it was when these games were a battle for the top honours. Arteta and Amorim go for a bro-shake and hug. The sun is out. Bring it on.

Simon McMahon, the Bard of Caledonia, gets in touch: “Afternoon John. With no game this weekend for the real United - of Dundee, just in case you were wondering - football mad daughter Evie and her boyfriend Ryan are at Old Trafford today for their fix of live action. Ryan’s an Arsenal fan, but even he knows the league is over, and Evie only cares about (Dundee) United, so she’s not bothered and will enjoy the novelty of being able to buy a beer at the game which we’ve not been able to do up here since Celtic and Rangers fans decided to riot in 1980. Maybe a 4-4 draw would be good, so if you could see to that, thanks. And cheers!”

Enjoy, Evie and Ryan.

The Stone Roses are blaring, and that means the team are coming on. This Is The One, music made for a spring day. Still glorious, despite its latterday association with United’s fall.

Mikel Arteta also spoke to Sky: “Today we have a big opportunity in an incredible stadium to be ourselves and earn the right to win the game.”

“They change a little bit. They have been quite consistent in their approach. The profile of players changes everything in football. An attitude and the way we behave. Regardless of how we play, we always have the same intention.”

Ruben Amorim spoke to Sky: “It is important this game. I don’t want to put the young players in at this moment, the other guys have to step up in this moment. We know what kind of team we are going to face. Any bad result here is a problem.

“Our focus is to win the game - it is quite simple. We have to use that energy. The minimum is to give them everything and finish the game with nothing to give.”

“That energy” refers to the fan protests.

Richard Hirst: “Looking at the strength, or otherwise, of the Man Utd bench I almost, but not quite, feel sorry for them. How can the self-described ‘biggest club in the world’ have come to this? It takes almost unimaginable skill - stand up Sir Jim.”

Only Hojlund has made a PL start, the rest are teenagers. Efficiency or foolhardy?

Earlier in the battle for the top four.

Martin Crookall replies to the other Martin: “In response to Martin Lancom, Thursday night just past.”

Following this game, and Chelsea’s defeat of Leicester, here’s how the table stands. Long way down from Arsenal to United.

Karen Asad: “Been binging Dexter Original Sin over the weekend and got me thinking: if you wanna keep making money out of an old franchise, you gotta have expert people in charge like they do on Dexter. Just saying!”

Rick Harris: “I totally get why Kobbie Mainoo wants to get away not just from Old Trafford, but from the Premier League too. His skill set will be of interest to plenty of clubs in La Liga, the Bundesliga, Serie A and Ligue 1 and he isn’t burdened by a salary that none of them can afford to pay or better. Without a doubt he would also grow as a person if exposed to a different culture and if he chooses wisely he would not be rained on every other week.”

Martin Lancon asks: “When was the last time not a single UK player on Man United starting lineup?”

So does Mary Waltz: “John. Morning greetings from Free State California. When I first started following the PL 20 years ago I picked Everton as my team. At the time they were a mid table team who had aspirations and memories of better times. Then we tumbled down the table and relegation has become a regular threat. I never imagined that mighty MANU could ever join us at the bottom of the table. Ut won’t happen this year but United in the Championship in a year or two is a possibility. The World turned upside down.”

Colum Farrelly gets in touch: “I keep reading about Amorim’s inflexible approach to team formation but the only constant is the three at the back. Even then the personnel change all the time. The central midfield two can be any combination of six individuals and the forward line can be one, two or three strong. And poor Zirkzee can be slow any any one of many places. Today’s team is yet another combination. Whatever else about him, inflexible he isn’t.”

One Arsenal change to the starting line-up from Eindhoven in midweekiss Riccardo Calafriori preferred to tough tackling’s Myles Lewis-Skelly at left-back. Mikel Merino plays the Tim Cahill role of converted midfielder.

For United, Rasmus Hojlund has been dropped after 19 games without a goal. Joshua Zirkzee will lead the line and, with Bruno Fernandes moving into the frontline, Christian Eriksen comes in to partner Casemiro in what may not be the most mobile midfield. Victor Lindelof replaces Patrick Dorgu and will play as one of the three-man defence. Manuel Ugarte and Harry Maguire are out with injury and likely to be missed.

There’s insurrection in the air at Old Trafford, with Sir Jim Ratcliffe and the Glazer family’s names being taken in vain. To say Big Sir Jim’s honeymoon period is over is to underplay things. BSJ has been spotted, too.

The teams

This story reflects the general state of Manchester United.

“I will not have the time Arteta had – I feel that. It’s a different club. So we just need to survive with the players [available] on Sunday. I think it’s a different club – in that aspect, the way Arteta dealt with that is an inspiration for everybody but I will not have the time like Arteta had.”

“I’m very used to people speaking about me, judging my performances and I do that myself,” said the 26-year-old. “I’m harder on myself and I know that I have not been good enough, especially in front of goal. I work hard every day to improve it and I know I have the ability and the talent to do it. PSV Eindhoven was good and hopefully now I can do more towards the end of the season.”

Pre-match reading ii) Me, John Brewin on the Manchester United pundit class. Thanks to our picture desk, unsung heroes, for that snazzy composite.

Pre-match reading i) Barney Ronay on the Gunners still being good.

Preamble