Andrey Rublev has heartbreakingly admitted that he “didn’t see the reason of living life” when he hit his lowest point.

The world No. 9 was known for his emotional on-court outbursts, often hitting himself with his racket during challenging matches.

But Rublev has now turned things around and is feeling positive about the future after coming off antidepressants and speaking to a psychologist.

Rublev reached breaking point after his first-round exit at Wimbledon last year. The Russian smashed his racket with his knee seven times during the match, drawing blood.

It came off the back of a similar outburst at the French Open just weeks earlier. Following his defeat at the All England Club, Rublev said he heeded to “let [his] emotions out”.

But the 27-year-old has now confessed that he was at his lowest when he crashed out of Wimbledon. “That was the worst moment that I face about myself. It was not about tennis,” Rublev told the Guardian.

“It was to do with myself, like after that moment I don’t see the reason of living life. Like, what for? This sounds a bit too dramatic but the thoughts inside my head were just killing me, creating a lot of anxiety, and I couldn’t handle this any more.

“I start to have a bit of bipolar. I don’t know if you can say it like that. But the one who made that start is me. Now I feel better. I can see the things that were happening.”

Since then, the 16-time title winner has started to turn his life around, turning to compatriot and retired former No. 1 Marat Safin. He continued: “Since Wimbledon some things changed.

“I was taking anti-depression tablets and it was not helping at all. In the end I said: ‘I don’t want to take anything any more.’ I stopped all the tablets and Marat Safin helped me a lot with conversation.

“He made me realise many things and then I start to work with a psychologist. I learn a lot about myself and while I don’t feel in a happy mood or the happy place I would like to be I don’t feel any more that crazy anxiety and stress of not understanding what to do with my life.”

Rublev no longer recognises himself when he sees old videos of his on-court meltdowns. “In the beginning, of course, I was feeling bad, embarrassed, because I’m not that kind of person,” he said.

“It’s not nice to see. Now, understanding more about myself, I’m more relaxed about it. I’m in a much better place. When I see those videos it’s like I was in a previous life. It’s not me any more.”

Fans have often voiced their concern for Rublev, though he hasn’t always shown the same kindness towards himself. But the world No. 9 believes he has turned a corner after digging deep to understand where his emotional distress comes from.

“I start to be more balanced because I’m honest with myself. I see my situation more realistically. It’s less dramatic than before so I have a bit healthier relationship with myself. Maybe I’m kinder because I’m more healthy,” he added.

Now feeling excited about the 2025 season, Rublev will be hoping to show a new version of himself at the Australian Open. But he has a tough test in the opening round as he takes on teen sensation Joao Fonseca who recently won the Next Gen ATP Finals and the Canberra Challenger.