WICKET! Conway c&b Atkinson 2 (New Zealand 4-1)

1st over: New Zealand 0-0 (Latham 0, Conway 0) Just as the first ball is bowled, the big bongs of (arguably) major breaking news chime as the following lands from ECB HQ. Looks like Ollie Robinson’s new passport has been delivered:

Durham’s Ollie Robinson added to England Men’s Test Squad

Durham wicketkeeper-batter Ollie Robinson has been added to the England Men’s Test squad for the tour of New Zealand. Robinson replaces Essex’s Jordan Cox, who sustained a fractured right thumb during the team’s warm-up period last weekend in Queenstown.

This marks the 25-year-old Robinson’s first call-up to the senior England squad. He has delivered solid performances for Durham in the County Championship, boasting an average of 48 with the bat in 2022 and an impressive 58 in 2023. Robinson has also demonstrated his skill behind the stumps, with 92 Championship dismissals across the past two seasons.

A regular in England Lions squads since 2019, Robinson has gained valuable experience on tours to Australia, Sri Lanka, and India in recent years.

Robinson is expected to join the squad in New Zealand on Saturday.

Right, anthems sung, players out. Chris Woakes has the ball. Cricket imminent.

“Why is Bashir playing instead of Leach?” harrumphs Paul McIntyre. Well, because he’s England’s first-choice spinner in all conditions, as Ben Stokes put it in Pakistan last month.

Meanwhile I’ve just had my first ever tacle and it was extremely nice, though I’m not convince we need any more similarly-flavoured orange citrus fruits. Enough already!

We’ve had our first look at the Test match pitch, and it is greener than a jealous, queasy tree frog.

So the debutants can chill out for a while: Jacob Bethell is unlikely to be batting this morning, and Nathan Smith is unlikely to bowl. Meanwhile, an email!

“I loved the idea of Moneyball and using recognised but under appreciated metrics of genuine impact, but also love the adrenaline-fuelled gut-feeling selection policy of Bazball,” says Tom van de Gucht. “But rather than, as Harry Hill would say, ‘Which one is better, there’s only one way to find out, Fiiiiigghghhhht!’ I’d genuinely love to know how much the data crunching has progressed and is still going on behind the scenes.

“There must be so much more intel on all biomechanical data, yet Stokes and McCullum seem to be going back to the style of the talent scouts Billy Beane fought against, who used selection criteria such as how symmetrical the player’s face was and if they looked good when running. Unless it’s all a smokescreen and their selections are massively data driven, but they’d prefer to sell their laid back image to pull opponents onto a false sense of security.”

In short, and to summarise, you don’t have a clue what’s going on.

England win the toss!

Right then, the British TV coverage has started and a coin toss should be incoming.

Ali’s been a busy little bee, there not being much else to do in New Zealand except write about cricket, and here’s his bit on a reenergised and refocused Ben Stokes:

Come rain or shine, New Zealand cricketers tend to wear a smile on their faces. But this week there is a palpable glow around the place, that remarkable clean sweep in India, coupled with victory for the women’s team in the T20 World Cup, still fresh in the memory. Hagley Oval is sold out for the first Test against England, folks drawn to its inviting grass banks.

English cricket has felt a little less cheery by contrast, be it their women’s team flunking that latest shot at a global title, the continuing culture war as the sale of the Hundred teams gathers pace, or the men’s Test side having lost in Pakistan to reopen the debate about the merits of so-called Bazball. Ben Stokes seemed to embody the mood in Pakistan, his return from a hamstring injury resulting in what he calls one of his toughest trips. A burglary back at home added to the stress levels and nearly forced an early flight back, only for his wife, Clare, to persuade him otherwise.

But before the first Test that gets under way on Thursday (10pm on Wednesday in the UK), Stokes appeared refreshed and re-energised.

Much more here:

Here’s a memorable quote from Warwickshire’s Olly Hannon-Dalby about Jacob Bethell:

He’s just one of those guys. A cool cat, quietly confident, funny but also seriously hungry and hard-working. He’s made two international debuts already, just bagged an IPL deal and he is about to play Test cricket. He’ll probably end up marrying a Bond girl.

And here’s Ali Martin’s profile of Bethell, which handily is the article the quote came from:

Hello world!