Bayern are causing mayhem, the three points already bagged here. First it’s Raphaël Guerreiro, smashing in on the half-volley after a chested lay-off from Jamal Musiala. Michael Olise then gets in on the fun, heading in from a short-corner routine for his second goal in as many games.

Antony, the forgotten man, wins a penalty after going down from the keeper’s challenge. He’s the man to take it, too, scoring despite the keeper diving to the correct side.

And the fun continues for Brentford after that early hint of jeopardy. Christian Norgaard, the skipper, makes it three.

Upset watch: Ryan Ledson perfectly places a low first-time hit from the edge of the box to give Preston the lead against Fulham.

Harry Kane steps up on penalty duties for Bayern to provide an early lead for the hosts after Aleksandar Pavlovic was brought down in the area.

Taylor Harwood-Bellis gets the Saints back on track, heading in from a free-kick at Goodison Park.

It’s a wonderful team and solo goal from Manchester United. They work it from the back through to Alejandro Garnacho, who finds Marcus Rashford on the right with a diagonal ball. Rashford’s first touch is perfect before he drifts gracefully into the box to calmly slot home.

Leyton Orient’s joy is incredibly short-lived as their lead is overturned, Mikkel Damsgaard heading in from Carvalho’s cross.

After a game of head-volley from a corner it’s Abdoulaye Doucouré who gets the final touch to give Everton the lead in the all-Premier League clash.

Eddie Nketiah has his first goal for Crystal Palace, lacing the ball into the net after it was rolled into his path inside the box from a sneaky Eberechi Eze free-kick.

Ignore my previous post: Brentford are back in business, baby. Fábio Carvalho equalises with a top finish, an overhead kick on the six-yard line after a save from the keeper saw the ball lob up in the air.

Upset alert! Brandon Cooper gives the League One side the lead against the Premier League team, tucking in at the far post from close range.

Michael Olise, who scored his first goal for Bayern on the weekend, is rewarded with a start in the Champions League.

Madrid ring the changes from their 2-0 win over Real Sociedad on the weekend. The ins: Lucas Vásquez, Aurélien Tchouaméni, Jude Bellingham and Rodrygo. The outs: Éder Militão, Luka Modric, Arda Guler and Brahim Díaz.

Manuel Ugarte, the new boy, makes his first start for Manchester United, with Casemiro getting the captain’s armband.

Real Madrid v Stuttgart. Bayern Munich v Dinamo Zagreb. Manchester United v, um, Barnsley. Yes, it’s time for the Champions League-Carabao clockwatch, a strange hotchpotch but an enjoyable service I’m happy to provide. I’ll keep you updated on the goals, reds, potential strike action, whatever catches the eye.

We’re already underway in Europe – there’s a lot to squeeze in this year – with Juventus hosting PSV and Aston Villa up against the peculiarly named Young Boys. Feel free to get in touch with your thoughts, queries and do please let me know if you’ve ever actually drank the Carabao Energy Drink. Book recommendations are always welcome.